i wonder how many people i’m in the “i’d be down if you asked” zone with
Becky: heather, I can’t believe you would do this to me! he’s my ex
Heather: I love him Becky! you’re just jealous
Becky: *Tackles heather*
*****falls down stairs****
Heather & Becky: *Starts laughing while laying on the bottom step*
Heather: what are we doing? it used to never be like this?
Becky: we would never let a guy get to us like this… I promise never to change again.
Heather: *sticks out pinky*
So I may or may not have gave 13 ears of corn plus a corn stalk to my girlfriend as a token of my love
What can I say, I’m a little bit corny
have you ever just looked at someone and thought, my fucking god i adore you. i adore every goddamn ounce. i adore your bones and your soul. but I’m a loser, who just doesn’t wanna lose you. i can lose fucking everything, but not you. oh god. not you.
"I’m not rich"
"But I have a big dick"
"I don’t have a big dick"
"But I am rich"
"And I have a big dick"
you know what i think you need
a shark wearing a maids outfit
Is this free?